Marriage and Divorce

Your parents, who brought you into this world and raised you, should rightfully be the most important figures in your life. On the bedrock of one’s forefathers are civilizations built and raised. Yet the Western cult of the self attempts to subvert this and create a society of orphans. Adults are constantly rewarded for putting their personal or professional goals before their children. Parents think nothing at fighting in front of their children. Above all, the insipid practices of divorce and premarital pregnancy create selfish adults and miserable kids; the hedonistic adults perhaps happier in the short term, but eventually dead, and the kids passing on dysfunction to the next generation. In short, in popular culture children are expected to have no reason to respect their parents and every reason to hate them.

In the midst of this society of orphans, I had the incredible fortune to be born to two perfect parents. To my knowledge, they have never quarreled; if they did it was not in my presence, which to a realist historian means the same thing. They never demanded recognition or respect, but earned both by pouring their hearts into raising their children with selfless love.

What is the result of this labor? The creation of children who can feel the presence of love in their homes, and have the means to distribute that love throughout society. The false, selfish “love” of a temporary obsession should crumble before this almighty goal. If “love” brings you to overlook alcoholism, brutality, and dishonor, then it is no grounds for a marriage that might expose children to these things. Similarly, if you yourself engage in these things in the presence of children, then it is you who must be shamed and removed from the pool of desirable partners.

The purpose of a marriage is not to memorialize a selfish, limited love between two people, nor is it (as Christian leaders suggest) to “produce” children. Only a couple who cannot think rationally about the society they want to live in will settle for one of these shallow goals, and only a foolish individual will promote them. Humanity as a whole deserves better than that.¬†Marriage must engender an outward, contagious love conducive to raising healthy children.

I’m still on the fence as to the meaning of human existence, but I feel fairly confident in saying that raising children who carry both wisdom and love with them to the next generation should be among humanity’s highest goals. Let us hope, then, that we can enshrine that goal both in our laws and in our stories.

Posted: January 28th, 2011 | Kultur 2 Comments »


2 Comments on “Marriage and Divorce”

  1. 1 K. said at 12:43 am on January 28th, 2011:

    What about two people who partake in that “limited love,” as you call it, and have no desire to have children of their own, at least not in the foreseeable future?

    Do they not have the right to live together and get married because they are happy together? Should they just live together and not marry, then? Do you believe only people who want to raise a family have the right to get married?

  2. 2 Avery said at 1:50 am on January 28th, 2011:

    First, some context, so that nobody gets angry that I posted this. The reason I posted this essay just now is because I don’t have much relationship experience and wanted to record my thoughts before I started one. I wrote it in the mountains of Colorado, which was a pretty unique time in my life.

    Priests, monks, and people who marry into an evolutionary dead end all have similar irrelevance. All three take on a vow of ending their own bloodlines to devote their lives to what they consider higher pursuits. I don’t have any complaint with priests and monks, so couples without children are I suppose okay as well. If too many people do that, of course, their society will simply cease to exist, so perhaps it’s not a good thing.